Exploits: The Chronicles of Lucifer Jones by Mike Resnick

Author:Mike Resnick [Resnick, Mike]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Humor, Science Fiction, Parodies, Form, Humour
ISBN: 9781612420356
Google: 86SFtgAACAAJ
Amazon: 1612420354
Barnesnoble: 1612420354
Goodreads: 14534219
Publisher: Arc Manor
Published: 1993-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

6. The Land of Eternal Youth

It took Hightower and me another month before we hit anything resembling civilization, at which time we found ourselves in Katmandu, which has a real exotic name but truth to tell ain't a lot different from Boise or Dubuque, except that it's a hell of a lot colder in the summers, and hardly any of the locals speak English.

Still, mathematics is a universal language, and I soon replenished our coffers in a series of friendly little contests involving pasteboards and various combinations of the number Twenty-One. It was only after a couple of disgruntled losers started complaining that my deck added up to a lot more Twenty-Ones than their decks did that I decided it was time to hit the road again.

“Where are you heading?” asked Hightower.

“Someplace warm,” I said. “What's south of here?”

“India.”

“Then that's where I'm heading.”

“I can't go with you,” he said.

“Why not?” I asked.

“From everything I hear, India's a pretty crowded place,” he answered. “And the bigger the crowd, the more I stand out. I'll be much safer finding a nice little village in Nepal and settling down here.”

“Guido Scarducci's probably forgot all about you by now,” I said.

“Have you ever known a bookie to forget a debt?” he asked.

Well, I didn't have no quick and ready comforting answer to that, so I bid him good-bye, packed enough food for a month, and lit out of Katmandu just in time to avoid a tedious discussion about the laws of statistical averages with some of the locals. I made pretty good progress for a week or so, but then a major league blizzard came up, and by the time it ended two days later all the roads and trails were covered, and within another week I was forced to admit that I was about as lost as people ever get to be.

Then one day I came to a pass that led to a winding trail down a mountainside, and suddenly it wasn't so cold anymore, and before long the snow vanished and I was walking on grass. I could see a great big green valley stuck smack in the middle of the mountains, and I decided to head on over to it to see if I could rustle up a hot meal and maybe a friendly game of chance or two.

Just before I reached the valley I came to a rickety wooden bridge leading over a stream, and on the other side of it were a bunch of guys who looked kind of Chinese lining a path that led up to this enormous white temple, which in turn was surrounded by a batch of little white houses.

Well, they just stared at me without saying nothing, so I put on my friendliest smile and crossed the bridge and was about to introduce myself when the strangest damned thing happened: the second I got to their side of the creek, they all got to their knees and bowed their heads, which could have meant anything

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